


Make the Yuletide Gay

by Sabeley



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Snowball Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 15:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12891399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabeley/pseuds/Sabeley
Summary: Isak has been pining after Even for months. Jonas and Eva decide that a romantic getaway at the cabin is exactly what the two boys need to confess their feelings to each other.Or the one with the Evak/Joneva double date that we all deserve.





	Make the Yuletide Gay

**Author's Note:**

> This is super cliche and I don't even care. I know it's a bit early, but I'm going to be pretty busy with work the closer we get to Christmas, so I thought I would go ahead and post this now. Happy holidays, everyone!

Just when Isak thought that he couldn’t possibly listen to his Math teacher drone on for another second, the clock ticked forward and suddenly he was blissfully, wonderfully free because the Christmas holidays were finally upon him. He couldn’t help but smile. 

That smile soon began to fade, however, as he walked towards his locker and thought of the empty apartment that awaited him when he got home. While Isak was able to convince himself on most days that not having a family didn’t necessarily mean he was alone, as the holidays drew nearer, he was finding it harder to believe. There was nothing more lonely than spending Christmas by yourself. 

By the time he reached his locker, the remnants of his fragile smile had broken into a frown. He began to input his combination with a heavy heart, already debating whether he would prefer pizza or Chinese food for dinner, when he was suddenly interrupted by Jonas appearing at his shoulder. 

“Hey,” Jonas greeted and without even looking up, Isak could hear the excitement in his voice. He abandoned his attempt to open his locker and turned towards his friend in suspicion. Jonas, hair in disarray, raised his eyebrows expectantly, as if waiting on an answer to a question he hadn’t actually asked. When Isak said nothing, he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Did you not get my text?” 

“Um, no?” Isak said, moving to fish his phone out of his pocket. Before he could, Jonas interrupted him. 

“I talked to my mom,” he said, clearly not having the patience for Isak to check his messages, “and she’s totally fine with us using the cabin.” 

He made it sound like they were continuing a conversation from earlier, but Isak honestly couldn’t remember the last time Jonas had mentioned the cabin. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “With me and you using the cabin?” he asked, thoroughly baffled as to why they would need to. 

“No,” Jonas corrected, like he thought Isak was being deliberately obtuse. “With _us_ using the cabin—me, you, and Eva.” 

Isak let out a humorless laugh and turned back to his locker. “Yeah, no. That’s not happening. I’m not third-wheeling you two again.” Jonas was quiet for several long seconds and when Isak looked over his shoulder, he actually seemed disappointed. “What?” he asked, his stomach dropping uncomfortably. If there was one thing he hated, it was disappointing Jonas. 

“Nothing,” Jonas said, brushing him off. Isak thought he was going to let the conversation drop without argument, but after only a second, he barreled on. “I just…I don’t want you to be alone on Christmas, okay? You should come with us.” 

Isak rolled his eyes. “Jonas,” he said, drawing out his name to emphasize how ridiculous he was being. “I was almost scarred for life last time and I can’t imagine this time will be any better. The two of you _just_ got back together—you’re fucking all the damn time. I’d still be alone even if I _did_ go with you.” 

Jonas seemed to hear the truth in his words because he grimaced. “Still,” he tried, but it wasn’t enough to convince Isak of anything. 

As he moved to open his locker for the third time, he tried to brainstorm excuses that would get him out of the cabin trip without leaving Jonas feeling guilty, but all possibilities escaped him as his locker clicked open and a single sheet of paper fell out, drifting to the floor like a snowflake. Isak knew immediately who it was from, and, not wanting Jonas to see, he quickly bent down, picked it up, and shoved it into his pocket before burying his face in his locker to hide a blush. 

Jonas, however, was apparently more observant than Isak gave him credit for because his next words were filled with hope once more. “You could invite someone!” he cried, like the idea had just occurred to him. Isak closed his eyes and sighed, his list of excuses getting shorter by the second. “Like that Even guy, maybe?” Jonas trailed off, like he was hoping maybe Isak would fill in the blanks of who exactly Even was to him and what the two of them had been doing for the past few months, but Isak didn’t have an answer for him, so he stayed silent. They were friends—that much he knew—but beyond that, he wasn’t sure. 

“Jonas,” he tried. “I don’t know if—” 

“You’ve been flirting with him though,” Jonas interrupted, not yet willing to admit defeat. Isak turned around and leaned against the lockers behind him so that Jonas could feel the full effect of his glare. It didn’t seem to quell him in the least. 

“Yes, _flirting_ ,” Isak reiterated. “Or at least attempting to. But it’s a big leap from flirting to romantic getaway in the woods.” Still, he had to admit that he was intrigued. Even had told him the night before that he would be home alone for Christmas as well and Isak would be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of the two of them cuddled up by a fire, drinking hot chocolate, reveling in the warmth of each other as Christmas carols played in the background. He knew it was nothing more than a stupid fantasy, but he couldn’t shake it—couldn’t help but hope that his dream might become a reality. 

Probably sensing that Isak was walking on resolve so weak it was about to shatter around him, Jonas needled a bit more. “Like you said, me and Eva will be doing our own thing, so you and Even will have plenty of time alone—to, you know, get to know each other better.” Despite the completely innocuous words said without judgment or inflection, Isak could feel his cheeks burning. “I mean, if you’re waiting for the perfect moment to make a move, I don’t think you’re going to get better than ‘romantic getaway in the woods.’” 

Isak sighed long and hard, fully prepared to say no, but the hopeful look on Jonas’s face just wouldn’t let him. “I’ll think about it, okay?” 

And when he actually started thinking about it, all he could see were Even’s wind-flushed cheeks and bright blue eyes leaning in to kiss him under the falling snow, and his stomach flipped in nervous anticipation. God, wouldn’t that be nice? 

“Okay,” Jonas said, smirking at the lovesick look on Isak’s face. Isak turned around once more, hoping to hide it from view. “Well let me know when you figure it out. We want to leave by Sunday.” He squeezed Isak on the shoulder and then he was gone, disappearing into the thick crowd of students who were rushing towards the doors, eager to escape the confines of the school to get their holiday started. 

Isak, however, was in no hurry to leave. Not when he had a note from Even waiting in his pocket. Nose still buried in his locker, he unfolded the piece of paper carefully, not wanting to accidentally rip it, and glanced down at the comic Even had drawn for him. 

The first panel was divided into two halves by a horizontal line and in the top pane was a cartoon Even, hair perfectly coiffed, sitting alone in front of an undecorated Christmas tree with a frown on his face. In the bottom pane, Isak, wearing his signature snapback, was doing much the same. The next panel, captioned “At the same time in a different universe,” showed Isak and Even, huge smiles on their faces, sitting together in front of a roaring fireplace with a now beautifully decorated Christmas tree next to them. An unfamiliar warmth spread throughout Isak’s chest and he couldn’t help the identical smile that painted his lips as he thought about the picture and what exactly Even was offering him. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at it before he was startled from his thoughts by the same voice that colored so many of his dreams. “So what do you say? Want to spend Christmas alone, together?” Isak folded the cartoon just as carefully as he had unfolded it and turned to face Even. He seemed calm, like it had taken him nothing to ask, but Isak could see that his fist was clenched tightly at his side, his knuckles white, and it brought him some comfort to know that he made Even just as nervous as Even made him. 

Isak smirked. “Now what makes you think I want to spend Christmas with _you_? I was actually looking forward to a bit of a break, if I’m being honest.” He was once again leaning back against his locker, but Even was standing close, caging him in. Isak tried to keep a straight face, but with Even standing right in front of him, he broke easily and smiled. Even rolled his eyes. 

“Fine. Offer retracted,” Even said with a careless shrug. “Eat leftover fish cakes. See if I care.” He moved to pull away, but Isak reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him. 

“No, don’t go,” he laughed, turning him back around. Even ended up even closer to him this time—so close that they were now touching—and Isak just stared up at him, dazed by the proximity. He didn’t dare let go of his hand, the weight of it grounding him. “I’ve got a better idea,” he finally said, squeezing Even’s fingers gently. Even cocked an eyebrow in question. “What are your thoughts on spending Christmas at the cabin?” 

* 

That night, Isak texted Jonas. _We’ll come on one condition: you and Eva have to promise not to make things awkward._

The reply was instantaneous. _Promise_ , it said with about ten smiley faces. 

Isak should have known better than to believe him. 

* 

Isak and Even had barely stepped into the cabin and things were already awkward, although admittedly, it wasn’t Jonas’s fault. Isak really should have remembered that the place only had two bedrooms—and, more importantly, only two _beds—_ but somehow that small, seemingly insignificant detail had slipped his mind. 

Jonas and Eva had driven up the day before, but Isak and Even waited until Christmas Eve, hoping to give the couple some alone time. They also thought it might be beneficial to have an escape vehicle available if they got tired of board games and snow. It had been a pleasant car ride and they only argued about song choice three times, which was a record for them. 

When they finally arrived, Eva greeted them at the door with a glass of gløgg in hand, playing hostess like she was an actual fucking adult or something, and Jonas showed them to their room. 

“So you’ll sleep here,” he said, making vague gestures around the place. “Bathroom’s through there, and there are more blankets and towels in the closet if you need them.” 

Isak followed him through the doorway, but stopped just inside and stared down at the lone bed in shock. He wasn’t quite sure what he had been expecting. Bunk beds, maybe? 

Although the bed was easily large enough to fit two grown men and still have room left between them, Isak couldn’t help but blush as he thought about falling asleep next to Even. Even, however, didn’t even look twice at the sleeping arrangements as he slipped past Isak and threw his duffle bag onto the floor. Isak tried to school his features, tried to will his blush away, but he wasn’t entirely sure he was successful. Even looked over, his eyes silently asking what was wrong, but Isak just waved him off and walked farther into the room. He expected Jonas to leave them alone to get settled, but instead he just stood in the doorway watching them. 

“So you’re a third year?” he asked Even and _fuck._ Had Isak even introduced them? Had they met before? He couldn’t fucking remember. Even nodded and sat down on the bed with one leg tucked underneath him. “How did you two meet again?” 

“Kosegruppa,” they answered simultaneously and Isak hid a smile in his shoulder as he began fishing through his bag just to give himself something to do. 

“Oh, right,” Jonas said, like he had just remembered. “When Sana blackmailed you with the weed.” 

Even started laughing. “Sana did what now?” 

Isak rolled his eyes. “It’s a long fucking story.” 

“What were _you_ doing there?” Jonas asked, turning the attention back to Even. “I can’t imagine anyone that puts up with Isak having an interest in Kosegruppa.” 

Even shrugged, looking over at Isak from beneath his eyelashes. “I was just there to meet Isak. Sana said he’d be there—I didn’t realize she’d blackmailed him. I wasn’t complicit in that part of the plan.” Isak felt his mouth fall open in surprise and he knew he probably looked like an idiot, but he didn’t know how else to react. Even blushed. 

“Well, okay then,” Jonas said after a few long seconds, hitting the doorframe playfully as he stepped out into the hallway. “I’ll let you two get settled. There’s alcohol in the kitchen when you want it.” 

Isak heard his footsteps as he walked away, but he was too busy staring at Even to acknowledge his goodbye. “You were there to meet me?” he asked, his voice soft. “But…why? You could have just said hello in the hallway or something.” 

Even chuckled. “Isak, you are _severely_ underestimating just how intimidating you are.” 

Isak wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so he said nothing, looking down at his open bag in front of him, now half unpacked. He could feel Even watching him, his gaze like a prickle against his skin. “I totally forgot about there only being one bed,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.” He chanced a glance up and noticed that Even’s eyebrows were raised and there was an amused glint in his eye. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “What I _want_ is to spend time with you. If you’d be more comfortable on the couch, that’s fine, but I kind of want you here—with me. I’m a very good bedfellow, I promise. I don’t hog the covers or talk in my sleep or anything. I’ll stay far away from you. You won’t even know I’m here.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Isak said and then immediately blushed. Even furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and although Isak _knew_ he should just let him be confused, he couldn’t help but clarify. “Stay far away from me, I mean.” 

Even smirked. “Good to know.” 

They made their way out of the bedroom a few minutes later and Isak froze upon noticing what he had missed as he had his silent freak-out about the sleeping situation: the whole cabin was already decorated for Christmas. There was a huge tree in the living room wrapped in tinsel and layered in silver and gold ornaments. The walls were strewn with garlands and wreaths and the whole place smelled like spruce and spiced cider. Outside the window, a soft snow was falling, blanketing the ground in a sea of white. It had been so long since Isak had a proper Christmas—one with a tree and presents and people he loved gathered around to enjoy each other’s company. It took his breath away. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Even said, noticing the look on Isak’s face. Isak turned to him and nodded, thinking that there was no one else he’d rather be there with. Even smiled and, sensing his obvious distraction, grabbed him by the shoulders to lead him into the kitchen. “Come on. Let’s say hello to your friends and then we can go back to staring out the window.” 

The smell of spices got deliciously thicker as they made their way into the kitchen where Jonas and Eva were sitting together at the table, Eva’s legs thrown casually into Jonas’s lap as she clutched her glass of gløgg tightly to her chest like it was keeping her warm. They both smiled when the boys walked in. 

“Did you do all of this?” Isak asked Eva, gesturing around to all of the decorations, because he certainly knew Jonas hadn’t. 

She scoffed, pushing her toe further into Jonas’s hand to get him to massage her foot. He rolled his eyes, but did as she requested. “You think I have the patience to do all of this by myself? Jonas’s parents did it weeks ago.” 

Isak moved to pour himself something to drink, craving warmth after his trek inside from the car, but Even pushed him down into the seat next to Jonas and went to pour the drinks himself, fielding questions from Eva all the while, who was looking at him like he was some sort of movie star. Isak wanted to tell her to stop, but he didn’t want to draw attention to her curiosity. As Even made his way back to the table, two teeming glasses in hand, Eva turned to Isak and mouthed, “I like him.” Isak rolled his eyes and took the gløgg from Even when it was offered to him. 

Isak, knowing Eva, expected it to be a little heavy-handed on the alcohol, but poor, unsuspecting Even started coughing immediately after his first sip. Isak reached out to grab his glass so he wouldn’t spill it and Even handed it over without question. “Oh, wow, that’s strong,” he said after his coughing subsided. His cheeks were red and although Isak knew it was probably because he had been struggling for air only seconds before, the color did something to him and he felt his own cheeks heat as well. Even looked at him and smiled. 

“Oh, shit,” Eva said, pulling her legs out of Jonas’s lap and sitting up. “I didn’t even think. I can probably water it down a bit.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Even said, waving her off as he took another, albeit smaller, sip. “I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” 

They sat around the table and talked and laughed for what must have been at least an hour, Eva asking Even all kinds of off-the-wall questions that Isak was secretly enjoying, no matter how much he begged her to stop. She covered his favorite animal (“Um, I don’t know. Wolves are kind of cool.”), his favorite movie (“How much time do you have?”), the reason him and his last girlfriend broke up (“She was too controlling. Is it getting hot in here to anyone else? I think I might need some more gløgg.”), and Isak could have sworn she was about to venture into far dirtier questions if the evil glint in her eye was any indication, but thankfully Jonas changed the subject. 

Once the attention was off of him, Even relaxed back into his seat and it was only then that Isak realized his own arm was thrown casually over the back of it. He wasn’t sure how long it had been there, but he felt himself flush at the fact that it was. He immediately felt the urge to withdraw his touch, not wanting to make his feelings obvious too soon, but before he could really start to worry about it, Even reached out and placed his hand on Isak’s knee beneath the table, drawing him closer. 

Isak startled at the touch, but Even didn’t let him go and when he looked up, Even was smiling at him softly, like he couldn’t quite believe he was actually there. His cheeks growing ever brighter, Isak used the hand resting on the back of Even’s chair to tangle his fingers in the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. Even leaned into the touch and for a moment, Isak forgot that the two of them weren’t alone in the room. 

Suddenly, he felt warm all over. He felt safe and loved and despite the fact that he also felt a bit like he was playing pretend on this parody of a double date, he also felt hope that maybe “just friends” wasn’t all that they were destined to be. There was a longing inside of him that wanted in a way he had never wanted before and the heat of Even’s touch burned a path through his body to rival the burn of the alcohol he was drinking. 

He was much too hot, sitting there under Even’s gaze, waiting to combust, so when an enthusiastic Eva suggested a snowball fight before the sun went down, he saw a welcome reprieve and he took it. 

* 

They split into two teams and Isak ended up paired with Eva since she was adamant that she be able to throw snowballs _at_ Jonas. They walked to the far side of the yard, bundled up tightly in their scarves and jackets. They were supposed to be building a fort or preparing snowballs or something, but all Eva wanted to do was talk. Since Isak’s hands were too cold even in gloves to want to touch the snow, he just let her. 

“Oh my god, Isak, I love him,” she said as she attempted to pack snow into a lopsided ball. There was so much passion in her voice that for a second, Isak thought she was talking about Jonas. She wasn’t. “He’s so tall and beautiful and the two of you would make the prettiest babies.” 

“Um,” Isak tried to stop her. “Eva—” 

She just kept talking. “And when I told Sana the two of you were coming with us, she said that he is completely and totally in love with you—that he came up to her on the _first day of school_ and was, like, asking about you.” She covered her mouth in barely contained excitement and although Isak wanted to roll his eyes, he didn’t actually want to discourage Eva from saying more. Not if she had more insider information like that. 

“Eva—” 

“Have you kissed yet?” she interrupted, looking up at him, her cheeks flushed from the wind and her white beanie pulled low over her ears. “Because me and Jonas will stay out of your hair. We will…” She kept talking, but Isak stopped listening as he looked across the yard to where Jonas and Even were laughing together on the other side. His stomach flipped at the sight. 

“No, we haven’t,” he admitted, never taking his eyes off of Even. 

“Well what the fuck are you waiting for?” Eva hissed, like the very idea was appalling. “Have you _seen_ his lips? God, Isak, if you don’t make a move, I might. Damn, he’s gorgeous.” Then she actually had the audacity to give Isak’s almost-boyfriend an appreciative once-over and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and swatting her on the arm. 

“Mine,” he said and Eva laughed good-naturedly, but her laugh quickly turned into a scream as a packed ball of snow flew right towards them. Thankfully, they managed to dive out of the way before it did any damage. When Isak looked across the yard, Jonas was standing there smirking as Even chuckled next to him. 

“It’s too fucking cold out here, Eva,” Jonas called. “I don’t want to build a fort. Can we just start throwing so we can go back inside?” Eva pouted, but the next thing Isak knew, she was launching the ball in her hand across the space between them and although Jonas was too far away for it to do any real damage, it seemed to signify that the game was on. Reluctantly, Isak bent down, picked up a handful of snow, and joined Eva as she ran towards the two boys. 

It didn’t take long for Isak to remember why he _hated_ snowball fights. Within seconds, he was wet and cold and craving another glass of gløgg to thaw out his frozen insides. 

As Isak suspected, Jonas and Eva gravitated together right away, shucking piles of snow in each other’s faces like children in a sandbox—which was fine with Isak because that only left Even for him to deal with and he had a sneaking suspicion that Even would take it easy on him if he asked. Poor boy was a lover, not a fighter. 

Sure enough, as soon as one of Even’s snowballs accidentally hit Isak straight in the face, his first instinct was to start apologizing as Isak sputtered the snow out of his mouth. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” he cried, dropping the remainder of his snowballs to the ground and running over to Isak. “Are you okay?” Isak tried to look downtrodden and annoyed and it must have worked because Even’s face fell further as he stepped within throwing range. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

The shot now lined up cleanly for him, Isak reeled his arm back and threw his own snowball, hitting Even directly in the chest. Even froze as if he’d been shot, looking down at his chest in abject horror. Isak couldn’t help but laugh. He took advantage of Even’s shock and threw another snowball and then another until Even was covered in snow, the tendrils of hair that Isak could see beneath his beanie now soaking wet. 

Still, he kept the onslaught coming, waiting on a surrender, but Even wasn’t one to give up easily. When Isak paused to scoop up more snow, Even made a break for it, laughing as he ran into the woods behind the cabin, seeking sanctuary. Isak had half a mind to follow him. Blood was pumping hot through his veins as adrenaline coursed through his body and he could just imagine finding Even in there, pushing him up against a tree, and kissing him for the first time while his lips were numb from the cold. He found, however, that he was frozen in place, too chilled to put that plan into action, so he chose to wait Even out instead. 

While he waited, Isak turned his attention to Jonas and Eva instead. He watched as Eva threw a loosely-packed snowball in Jonas’s face, but Jonas just shook the powder away and rushed forward, scooping Eva off of the ground and into his arms. She screamed in surprise, her cry echoing off of the house behind them, but she looked so damn happy as Jonas spun her around in circles—happy and light and carefree. That was what Isak wanted, he realized. He wanted what Jonas and Eva had and he wanted it with Even. He was surprised to find that he could see that future in front him, waiting just over the snow-strewn horizon, if only he was brave enough to reach out and take it. 

He was so busy playing voyeur that he didn’t hear Even until it was too late. A twig snapped behind him, but before he could turn, he felt his jacket being pulled away from his neck and the next thing he knew, a cold, wet ball of snow was dropped down the back of his shirt, painting a watery trail along his bare skin—and it fucking _burned_. It took Isak’s breath away just as quickly as if he’d jumped into the half-frozen lake in front of them and he breathed in a ragged gasp of air as Even laughed. 

“What the fuck?!” Isak cried, pulling his shirt away from his skin to allow the snowball to escape back to the ground. Even just shrugged, although he was clearly pleased with himself, and Isak could not let that challenge go unanswered. “Oh, it’s on now.” 

Even took off running, his laughter making it impossible for Isak to be mad at him, and although Even’s legs were longer, Isak was faster, his feet racing in time to the beat of his heart as his body tried to fight off the cold. Even stopped running at the edge of the property, not wanting to drag their argument into the woods, and turned, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. 

“Now, Isak, remember that it’s just a game,” he said with an impish grin, but Isak was having none of that. He lunged forward, pushing Even into the snow bank behind him, but, as was often the case in his interactions with Even, he hadn’t thought things all the way through because Even’s immediate reaction was to grab the front of his jacket and drag Isak down with him until they were both laying in a heap on the cold, wet ground. 

Isak could feel Even’s rumbling laugh beneath him—could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he tried to draw breath—and it was strangely intimate. Isak sat up just enough to look down into Even’s blue eyes, sparkling in contrast to the stark landscape behind him, and the irony was not lost on him that he’d seen this very scene in countless romantic comedies over the years: two pining lovers forced into close contact until the sexual tension between them built to a breaking point. 

Even’s laughter faded as they stared into each other’s eyes and it would have been so easy to just lean down and kiss him, but before Isak could, Even wrapped his knees around Isak’s waist and flipped them so that now it was Isak whose back was pressed into the snow. 

A combination of the sudden movement and the cold took his breath away and he stared up at Even, his mouth open in surprise. Even smirked down at him, but after a pregnant pause, he disentangled their limbs and stood, offering his hand out to help Isak up. Warily, Isak took it, his breath fogging in front of him as he tried to recover from whatever the fuck that was. 

Even smiled softly, reaching out to help Isak brush the excess snow off of him, and then pulled Isak’s beanie down over his ears before backing away. “You look so fucking beautiful out here,” he said, opening his arms wide as he walked backwards, like he was making some sort of proclamation. “Like an angel—a _snow_ angel!” 

Then he turned back towards what semblance of their snowball fight remained, and as Isak watched him walk away, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe he was closer to having what Jonas and Eva had than he even realized. 

* 

If Isak thought that Eva’s little crush on Even would die down as she got to know him better, he was wrong. Very wrong. After they came in from the cold and changed back into dry clothes, Eva got started making dinner and, to Isak’s surprise, Even offered to help her. They weren’t making anything too complicated, just some sort of stew—something Isak himself could have easily helped with as well—but as Even chopped vegetables with his cozy red sweater bunched up to his elbows, Eva watched him with lights in her eyes, occasionally turning to Isak to mouth “Oh my god” like Even was some sort of gift to mankind or something. Maybe he was. Isak certainly couldn’t blame her for staring since he was too, and he kept staring, unabashed, until Jonas wrangled him into helping build a fire. 

They ate dinner together in the kitchen like a real family and then retired to the living room where the fire was roaring in the grate and the tree was set up like a picture out of a magazine. For the first time, it actually felt like Christmas. There was a warmth inside Isak that had nothing to do with the fire. It had been a very long time since he’d felt it. 

Since they didn’t have a TV, Eva insisted that they play charades to keep themselves entertained—and they did for a little while, laughing together at Jonas’s overly expressive eyebrows and how Even almost tripped over the coffee table in his enthusiasm to mime “football player.” 

Eva heated up more gløgg and they all grabbed another glass to let the alcohol warm their bodies. The more Isak had, the more distracted he got. Even was distracting enough even without the influence of alcohol, but under the influence, he was utterly hypnotizing. It was something about the way he threw his head back when he laughed, like he could barely contain his happiness inside his body. Or the way he looked at Isak when he made a joke, like he was checking to see whether Isak thought it was funny too. Or the way he seemed to tremble when their eyes met, like Isak had touched him deep inside. Even felt real in a way very few things ever had. Real and permanent, like when he looked into Even’s eyes, he was seeing his future. 

Even didn’t seem to mind the heat of his gaze, but after a while, Isak forced himself to look away for propriety’s sake, which brought his attention to Jonas and Eva instead. They were cuddled up together on the couch, Eva practically in Jonas’s lap, talking in whispers and looking at each other like there was no one else in the entire universe worth looking at. Every so often, Jonas would lean forward and place a small peck on Eva’s lips and Isak was happy for them—he was—but he was also jealous. He set his half-finished drink down on the end table next to him and tried not to pout. 

* 

“I like them.” That was the first thing Even said after the two couples had bid each other goodnight and retired to their separate bedrooms. He had stepped into the room ahead of Isak, but turned to look at him over his shoulder to make sure he was listening. “I’m glad you invited me. I’m glad they _let_ you invite me.” 

Isak shrugged him off as they both began digging through their overnight bags on opposite sides of the bed, looking for pajamas. “I wouldn’t have come otherwise.” 

Even didn’t reply right away and Isak glanced up, wondering if he had said something wrong. If Even’s face was any indication, he hadn’t, because the boy was _beaming_ at him, clearly overjoyed, and Isak couldn’t resist rolling his eyes even as a blush appeared on his cheeks. “Don’t act so surprised. You know I wanted to spend Christmas with you.” 

Even tilted his head doubtfully, as if Isak was only half-right. “I knew you didn’t want to spend Christmas _alone_ ,” he corrected. Isak swallowed hard because he didn’t know how to admit that if Even wasn’t there, he would always feel alone, no matter how many people were in the room. He turned back to his bag instead, determined to change into his pajamas, climb into bed, and turn off the lights before his blush got too noticeable. 

He was distracted from his search a few seconds later when Even found his own pajamas across from him and, without even pausing, grabbed the collar of his red sweater and pulled it over his head, leaving his bare chest on display. Isak’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. 

He tried to avert his gaze and give Even his privacy, but he just couldn’t. He was too beautiful to look away from for even a second. The very idea was ridiculous. When you were standing in front of a masterpiece, you didn’t waste your time looking at something else instead. You stared, you drank it in, knowing that you might never get the chance to see something that beautiful ever again. 

So he gaped at the muscles pulled taunt in Even’s shoulder, at the freckles dancing across his back, and he didn’t think about kissing them for even a second because that would be inappropriate when they were about to crawl into bed together. Platonically. 

He only found the strength to tear his eyes away when Even’s pale skin was once again covered by a loose-fitting, long sleeve T-shirt, but when he looked up, it was to find Even smirking over at him. Even cocked an eyebrow suggestively, almost like he was inviting Isak to say something, but Isak was far too cowardly for that. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, turning his attention back to his bag where he _finally_ located his pajamas at the very bottom. He changed into them with his back to Even, wondering all the while if Even was watching him with the same unadulterated interest that Isak had shown him. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know, but he had a suspicion that the answer might be yes because he didn’t hear Even climb into bed until Isak had already pulled his shirt back over his head. When Isak turned, Even was already snuggled under the covers, his hair fanned out around him. 

Isak was tempted to stand there and just stare at him, looking all soft and beautiful, but he thought that might be pressing his luck a bit. He’d done enough staring for one night, so instead he took a deep breath to steel himself for the adventure ahead and then climbed into bed next to Even, being careful not to brush against him as he got settled. 

It took a bit of tossing and turning for him to get comfortable. He usually slept curled on his side, but it seemed rude to turn his back to Even and intrusive to turn his front. Instead, he laid flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling. 

Thankfully (or not, depending on how you looked at it), Isak’s earlier assessment had been accurate: the bed _was_ more than big enough for the both of them. In fact, they weren’t touching at all as they lay side by side. Isak could feel the body heat radiating off of Even, warming him far more than the alcohol had earlier, but he couldn’t actually feel _him_. It was a bit unsettling. 

The _whole thing_ was a bit unsettling. His body and his mind were warring within him, his body wanting to touch and his mind wanting to be polite and give Even his space. He felt like he should say something—anything—to break the tension, but he didn’t want it to be obvious that that was what he was trying to do. Maybe Even wasn’t nervous at all. Maybe he didn’t feel _anything_ lying in bed with Isak. He could feel his mind spiraling, threatening to drown him in an ocean of his worries, but before he could lose himself completely, Even interrupted his thoughts. 

“Um, Isak…?” He trailed off and in the second between those words and the words that came next, Isak actually had a chance to hope that maybe this was the perfect moment Jonas had mentioned when he suggested this trip in the first place. Maybe Even was about to admit his feelings and Isak wouldn’t have to do anything at all. Instead, Even said, “The light is still on.” 

Fuck. Of course it was still on because Isak was a fucking idiot. 

“Right,” he said, his cheeks flaming. He sat up and reached out to turn off the light, determinedly ignoring Even’s soft laugh from next to him. God this was awkward. It wasn’t supposed to be this awkward. He flipped off the light, thinking that the darkness would only make things better, but he was wrong. It made things worse because now Isak was thinking about the things he did alone in the dark—and the person he thought about while he was doing them—and his traitorous dick started to plump up in his boxers, completely against his will. Isak cursed it in silence. 

The room got quiet once more—so quiet that Isak was sure Even could probably hear how loudly his heart was pounding in his chest—but Even didn’t call him out on it, and soon it started to slow, allowing him to think clearly once more. 

“Even?” he whispered. Even hummed in response. “Good night.” 

There was a pause and when Even spoke again, Isak could hear the smile in his voice. “Good night, Isak.” 

Isak couldn’t help but imagine a lifetime of nights where they whispered those same words to each other and that thought calmed him enough to close his eyes and try to sleep. He quickly realized, however, that while his nerves had settled, his anticipation had not. His body and his heart yearned for the man lying next to him and more than anything, he just wanted to curl into his side and share body heat as the snow continued to fall. Not even in a romantic way, necessarily. He just wanted to know that Even was there, that he was real, that his heart was beating. He didn’t think Even would mind. He was a very tactile person. 

Minutes passed and Isak couldn’t shake the urge to cross the chasm between them, but just as he convinced himself to take that leap of faith, he remembered the hardness in his pants and realized that pressing it into Even’s thigh probably wasn’t the solution for making things less awkward. Fucking hell. 

His heart was racing from his near blunder and he had just resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep at all when suddenly Even reached out beneath the covers and took Isak’s hand in his. Isak looked to him in surprise only to find Even already looking back, a soft smile on his face. 

“Stop thinking so loud,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over Isak’s face. 

Isak groaned and threw his free arm over his head to hide his embarrassment. “I can’t fucking help it.” 

Even laughed and then rolled onto his side so that he was now facing Isak. Drawn to him, Isak did the same, and then they were just staring at each other in the dim light, their hands still clasped together in front of them. 

“Do you not want to be in bed with me?” Even asked, a teasing lilt to his voice. 

Isak scoffed. “It’s not that I don’t want to be in bed with you,” he replied, brushing his thumb along the back of Even’s hand where they were joined. “It’s that I want to be in bed with you a little too much.” 

Even in the dark, Isak couldn’t miss the way Even smiled. “I want to be in bed with you a little too much too,” he admitted and Isak’s stomach flipped so hard that it was almost painful. 

Their confessions acted like a magnet, pulling them together, and suddenly they were closer than they’d ever been—so close that Isak could feel the brush of Even’s eyelashes against his cheek—and yet they still didn’t kiss. They just stared at each other, neither bothering to shut their eyes, not wanting to miss even a moment as they moved infinitesimally closer to each other, unable to stay apart. They were so close that Isak could _feel_ Even’s lips hovering over his, could almost taste the kiss he promised, but before they could close the short distance between them, they were startled apart by a loud _thump_ against the wall. 

They didn’t sit up, just paused, waiting for the sound to repeat itself. They didn’t have to wait long. The thump returned, this time accompanied by the rhythmic squeak of mattress springs—and holy fucking shit, Isak was going to kill Jonas. 

Next to him, Even chuckled. “Um, are they…?” And of course they fucking were because that was just Isak’s luck. He pulled his hand out of Even’s so he could bury his head in his pillow instead, hoping to drown out the sounds, but nope. Soon the thumps and squeaks were joined by grunts and moans and Isak couldn’t fucking take it. 

“You know, it’s ironic,” Even said, laughter evident in his voice. “My original plan _was_ to stay home and watch porn.” 

Isak groaned at the horrible joke and, because he had already suffered through his fair share of awkwardness for the night, climbed out of bed and started throwing warm clothes on over his pajamas. “I’m getting out of here,” he said, looking over at Even who was watching him in amusement. “You coming?” 

Even sprang out of bed without question, smiling (ironically) like a kid on Christmas, eager for whatever adventure Isak had in store for him. Isak waited until he was bundled up in his own winter clothing before grabbing him by the hand and practically dragging him out of the cabin, desperate for escape. As soon as he opened the door and stepped out into the cold, however, he immediately regretted his decision and tried to turn back around, confident that braving Jonas’s sex noises would at least be preferable to freezing to death. 

“Oh no you don’t,” Even said, grabbing him by the shoulder, turning him back around, and forcing him out onto the porch. “I’ll keep you warm. Come on.” 

The only place to sit was a swing on the far end of the porch, so Isak made his way over and settled onto it as Even lit the outdoor heater and moved it a bit closer to them. It didn’t stave off the chill completely, but it certainly helped. Once that was done, he joined Isak and Isak curled into his side without hesitation, pulling his legs onto the swing next to him so that he could envelop himself completely in Even’s warmth. If anyone asked, he would say it was for self-preservation, but the honest truth was that he just couldn’t stand the thought of not touching him any longer. He was tired of denying himself the things he wanted. He was tired of being scared. If he was going to freeze to death tonight, he at least wanted to die knowing what it felt like to be held in Even’s arms. 

Even chuckled and wrapped Isak in a tight hug, running his gloved hands up and down his back to try to produce some heat. God, it was fucking cold, but Isak thought the pain might be worth it if only Even kept touching him. 

They had grabbed a blanket off of the couch on their way outside and Even draped it over the two of them. When even that didn’t stop Isak from shivering, Even unspooled his own scarf from around his neck and passed it to him instead. Isak started to argue, but Even wouldn’t hear anything of it. Despite the cold, Isak was starting to feel very warm inside. 

“I’m so sorry about this,” he said after a little while. “I shouldn’t have dragged you here. Now we’re both spending Christmas Eve freezing to death.” 

“We’re not going to freeze to death,” Even said, rolling his eyes as he pulled Isak closer to him. Isak buried his cold nose in Even’s neck and chuckled when the boy shivered at the touch. “And it’s fine, Isak. Seriously. They’re in love and it’s beautiful here. I would take advantage of it too. I’m a little jealous of them, actually. I’d forgotten how lonely it can feel to be surrounded by people in love.” 

His words squeezed something inside of Isak, narrowing his whole world down to only the man in front of him. It wasn’t a good feeling exactly—more of a strange mixture of sadness and understanding—but it was enough for Isak to know that he never wanted Even to feel lonely again. 

“I think _I_ might be in love,” he admitted, his voice so quiet he wasn’t even sure Even could hear him. He must have though, because he gently pushed Isak off of his shoulder so he could look at him. Even stared, his mouth slightly parted, and Isak was already praying he wouldn’t make him repeat himself when he broke out in a wide smile. 

“Really?” he asked, eyes wide. Isak swallowed hard, feeling the culmination of months of pining heavy atop his shoulders. This was it. His confession was out there. It was up to Even what he did with it. 

He expected him to maybe say “I love you” back or at least acknowledge the gravity of Isak’s words, but he did neither of those things. Instead, he reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I’ve got a present for you,” he said, staring down at it hard before offering it to Isak, who took it, his heart in his throat. 

His fingers, clumsy in thick gloves, struggled to open the paper, but after watching him fight with it for several long, arduous seconds, Even laughed and reached out to do it for him. The sound calmed Isak enough to be able to look down at the picture that was revealed to him and actually appreciate what was written on it. 

It was another comic, just like the one he had found in his locker on Friday. The left side was identical, showing a happy Isak and Even smiling together in front of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree, fireplace roaring in the grate behind them. The next panel, once again labeled “At the same time in a different universe,” had the same picture except in that one, the little cartoon Even and Isak were kissing. 

“I think I might love you too,” Even said, drawing Isak’s attention back to him. It struck him again just how beautiful Even was. Snow was falling fast around them, turning the world into a winter wonderland—an image you might frame and keep forever—but Isak barely saw it, he was so blinded by Even. He wanted to reach out and touch, but he stopped himself because that was what he was used to doing. As Even started leaning towards him, however, he realized he no longer had to. 

And although he didn’t know it at the time, it was just as the clock ticked forward into Christmas that Isak cupped Even’s flushed cheeks in his hands and kissed him. 

Despite their desperation, the kiss was soft and slow, more smiles than anything as they mapped each other’s mouths, both knowing that they had a lifetime ahead of them to explore. It wasn’t a cozy kiss in front of a nice, warm fire, but it was perfect all the same. They would make their own heat. 

Later that night, when their lips grew numb from the cold, they trekked back inside and continued their kiss in the bed that they shared. And when their lips grew numb again, this time from the sheer intensity of their kisses, they slept, curled together beneath the blankets, and even though the day had just started, it was already the best Christmas of Isak’s life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated ❤️


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